Yo and Yo!

' 1/4 I've put myself into an awkward position as @ C uban = American im Miami that doesn't speak Spanish. Not even Spanglish. Comprehension? Someplace between hearing and half-listening-= My understanding, on the other hand, 1s “not so good looking," as the newly landed might say. Did that make you wince? Depends om my whiteness, perhaps? It's okay, I feel it, too. Trust me, I'm from here: the 33018, Hialeah Gardens, turnpike, Everglades adjacent, ¢ ourtly Manor, El Jardin Plaza, “Chrome Ave, ------*from "Astronomical by Miccosukee paid"(about 13 dollars from a slot Otto von Schirach draculo machine split between my boy and me-=how far would that have gotten us with a lipsticked Miccogukee lot gator?)). What cam I say? We never spoke Spanish in my house, and I'm lazy. I was too busy stuffing my mouth with croquetas and Cuban bread with butter - dipped in cafe com leche(so that when you finish your cup, there's soggy breadstuff sticking to the bottom alll pathetic looking back at you like a terrified Cuban brawn anole)-~ you'd think all of that would somehow teach my mouth Spamish in passing, but it only made me fat. So much for exposure and osmosis--I can't even roll my “r's'". My grandfather picked tobacco. I cauld go to ome of those cute Little Havana cigar shop tourist workshops to "learn" to roll, but so far all I do is smoke it, tobacco, cigars (started with | Cuban Cohibas et 14--pro tip: DON'T INHALE). In Hialeah Gardens, Lago Grande TWO-FOUR territory-----*TWO-FOUR was the local, The caramel AND white Cuban little boys and girls farcical “gang” | (we're talking mostly 2nd generation kids born a into Cuban (not mere Spanish)) speaking homes, who acquired most of their English acumen glued to their TV 's , who were then and forevermore doomed to act as English translators if their - parents had taken the special Miami opportunity : *NOT* to learn English) who interlocuted via. @ shameless crashing of varying levels of AAVE-~ meaning THAT word with the soft # unless they f elt like peppering im # little racism as they were wont to do--, Spanish, English, Spanglish, yeah, no for no and no, yeah for yeah and get "aown"’ from the car instead of get "but"! of the car and bro broooco bro BROOOOO yeeeEEE BROOO culminating im the Lingua. Miami dialect discovered une lately by the septal at the worlds ahead_ orida International University aka F.I.juuuu _ __ Ws, And at the end of tho day, I'm 1m the picture, riiiaipldesneciicecteie too, just sans Spanish, so not really "Just! professor of linguistics — I promise you that more tham a few of us who at FIU " mi went to school out of state had to socially = i om; condition our own pale asses to quit saying mn i words we shouldn't be saying, sometimes over- — i- pshog tine ibe mark for the sake of whitewashing | But so imp that. 4 position | mentioned, | tne’ Sra 6 iy ene Pah 2 tf pt eB al