Opium, Fizzle, Assassin

They've said religion is the opium of the masses, while others have named television the culprit. And those of the more literal persuasion (though less persuasive in some matters) have said Opium is the opium of the masses which is fair enough. But, for the consideration of the few of discernment, judiciousness, and taste, I put forth another contender for this title: soda pop Hear the sinister fizzle with every pour and crack of can, consider the bane of our health in America, the real silent killer (heart attacks are merely the effect, or the fall guy, the patsy—sugar! Corn syrup too, and all manner of fructose s of all manner of starch infecting our water with carbonation to kill us all! Lee Harvey Oswald? No! Coca cola!